Let me briefly introduce myself. Lily, 28 in reality, but ridiculously young in appearance and in her behaviour sadly. Sometimes an inspiring heroine (doesn’t last longer than one speech at a pub), usually a little girl who just cries a lot (Old Boy reference intended).What do I cry about? Oh just stick with me and you will see what an annoying little brat I can be sometimes. I really have no idea how to use blogs and I also have no interest in reading any of them. This is probably because I give 0 bother about random people I would never meet and my selfishness is sky-high. I picked the first thing that came on Google search and most importantly was FREE . Best things in life are meant to be free, are they not? Ha ha ha.
It has been 4 days I have walked out of a job, (yup an astonishing achievement) countless coffee cups and weird sleeping hours already. Oh forgot to mention that always burning question of a supposedly creative mind that wanders in the jungles of society. WHAT TO DO NOW?
So what to do now, girl? What is it that you want? Do you even know or do you need another coffee cup to make your head clearer? FOLLOW MY DREAM – screamed in capitals on the leaving card of former colleague who beat me to quitting job faster. She left one day before. What an inspiration! Or what a bitch? Beat me to it faster, stirred my dying courage, woke that sleeping rebel child up for one more misbehaving and here I am again battling my own failures one more damn time as I try to FIND MYSELF close to my 30s. 30S!!!!! Could I just fake my passport? Could I just fake an identity and life? Of a person that never existed but was ME only the way it was supposed to BE? She must be hiding somewhere…looking like Alexa Chung on a Chanel show front row preferably..
Ahm where are you Lily/Alexa? Where are you hiding? My inner inspiration clearer than the crystal ball of a charlatan physic? Lily Lily Lily.. Coffee may not be enough now girl. You may need to embark on an expensive meditation course somewhere in the mountains..or a cleanse..or go drinking to the point where all your sorrows drown with and within you.. buried in your tears.. or you can always turn to substance abuse but sadly you are a rocker chick only in your dreams and your non-existent dead handsome and cool rocker boyfriend is well..non existent. Just like your ambitions, desires, self-confidence, dreams and perfect hair. You do have options for a life rehab of a modern girl though. The problem is that you may never get into and out of one as to get into you need to know what the problem is. And my dear lost child, this is exactly where you fail.
Failure has become my favourite word, my companion, an attitude, a way of life, also an excuse to not even try and just my basic comfort zone. I don’t think I ever realised this but after my third cup of coffee it is dead clear this blog post is becoming a personal account of little struggles of a random girl’s life. Though the drama queen as I am, I have a tendency to fight windmills or imagine epic heroic battles because you know what? I have always wanted to be a heroine or an actress, or the one who does big IMPORTANT things and is remembered for that. What is important is almost an equivalent of WHAT TO DO NOW as the former influences the latter. May this be an answer? Can IT be that simple?! Things in life are meant to be complicated so that I could uncomplicate them or overcomplicate them and get tangled up in the complications. Only then I would earn the right to complain of my heroic struggles of a very average modern dull yet sometimes exciting life!
Well let’s leave this topic for the usual deeply deep connecting humans on the deepest level conversation at the pub on Friday/Saturday night.
P.S. Oh.. Does anyone want to employ me?Did I mention I was jobless longing for a career change that is easier to achieve than Lily Depp getting a model job in the future ? I have a decent background in customer service which I wish I never had, I am also a great listener and fast thinker, however I would prefer not to apply this knowledge into deciding if the outfit makes you look slimmer when the size is too small . In addition, I adapt to new situations very quickly and I am extremely polite and calm!! Only because I have killed you twice in my head. Any takers? I also have a voice that sounds like Scarlett Johansson trying to seduce you if that somehow helps in making the right decision.