Let’s talk about shopping malls tonight. I hope they will haunt you in your dreams. I hope that you will get lost in their never-ending maize and get trapped on a floor without Starbucks. I hope that they will drain all your happiness out with the screams of your unsatisfied children. Because they want a toy. Or Starbucks. I hope that they will destroy your bank account and you will have to live eating rice or bread three times a day for the rest of the month. I hope that rice will be the cheapest one because you spent all your money organising the amazing trip to the shopping mall. I hope that your carrier bags will break before you reach your car and your items will get sucked in by the escalator. I hope that the shopping assistants will forget to issue your receipts and the items you will buy will be faulty. I hope your children will cry because they want toys that are more expensive than you can afford. I hope your spouse will leave you because you can only afford Primark and H&M and she/he wants fucking Gucci. I hope that you will have a meltdown and end up in Alcoholics Anonymous. Because you can only afford to window shop instead of taking your family anywhere better than lunch at McDonald’s with your 0 creativity.
Happy dreams because I’m lovin’ it.